Welcome to Omgili,
Omgili ( Oh My God I Love It ;) is a search engine for discussions. With Omgili you can find answers and solutions, debates, discussions, personal experiences, opinions and more... To learn more about Omgili click here.
This is a complete preview of the discussion as it was indexed by Omgili crawlers. Use this preview if the original discussion is unavailable.
Click here to view the original discussion.
[http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=672...]
Click here to search for discussions with Omgili discussions search engine.
 |
Being afraid of being caught - WordReference Forums
A boy named Jack broke an old lady's window.
Being afraid of being caught, Jack fled the scene right away ...
Finally, he decided to pay for the repair of the window by saving the money he made from delivering newspaper.
Three weeks later, he had the money ready.
For a start, is it better to omit "Being" in the above?
Second, will it sound better if I replace "made" with "would make?"
Thanks.
|
 |
Yes, remove "being" and change "made" to "would make".
Also, make it newspapers.
It would also sound more natural to change "finally" to "later".
|
 |
|
Thanks, Driven, for the correction.
I get it now.
|
 |
Quote: : A boy named Jack broke an old lady's window.
Being afraid of being caught, Jack fled the scene right away ...
Finally, he decided to pay for the repair of the window by saving the money he made from delivering newspaper.
Three weeks later, he had the money ready.
For a start, is it better to omit "Being" in the above?
Second, will it sound better if I replace "made" with "would make?"
Thanks.
This whole thing is awkward
--Afraid of being caught, Jack fled the scene right after he broke an old lady's window (assuming a lot happened during ) Finally, he decided to deliver newpapers and made money to pay for the damage.
Three weeks later, he had the money ready (assuming the story didn't end here I hope so )
Er, I suppose you are correcting your students' homework, so I hope I am not breaking the rules here by re-writing your sentences
|
 |
Quote: : This whole thing is awkward
--Afraid of being caught, Jack fled the scene right after he broke an old lady's window (assuming a lot happened during ) Finally, he decided to deliver newpapers and made money to pay for the damage.
Three weeks later, he had the money ready (assuming the story didn't end here I hope so )
Er, I suppose you are correcting your students' homework, so I hope I am not breaking the rules here by re-writing your sentences Thanks, nichec, for your eloquent and beautiful paraphrase.
But don't ever worry about breaking any rule here because your supposition is way way far from hitting the bull's eye.
|
 |
Quote: : ..For a start, is it better to omit "Being" in the above?
Yes
Quote: : Second, will it sound better if I replace "made" with "would make?" Only if he hadn't already started delivering papers before he broke the window, otherwise leave it as it is.
Further up the thread someone has pointed out papers needs to be plural.
As an ex paper boy, I agree.
|
|
|
|