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ever been harrassed? - John Stone Fitness Forums
As i took a cab home this evening, i was very nervous.
First off the cabbie looked ugly and dirty and just not very nice in general secondly there were a number of diversions which took us off my standard route.
Some of the ladies and especially any who have ever been harrassed or attacked will relate to the fear that makes your hair stand on end and gives you an impending sense of doom.
Nothing happened but i have learned to listen to my instincts.
The last time i heard these alarm bells i actually had a bad experience.
My cabbie rolled up the windows, started using obscene endearments and truned the music really loud, he was attempting to take me off-course and simultaneously trying to reach back and grab me ...
I smacked off an attempt the first time, the second time he grabbed my leg.
I jumped off the moving car as it slowed at a traffic signal.
I still remember how horrified i was to see his hands marked with a gazillion scars.
i've been thinking i should carry a weapon around, like a pepper spray ...
Or learn some self defense moves.
What would you ladies do?
What's the best way to deal with this kind of a situation.
I remember i shouted a lot, attracted a lot of attention and tried to get his number plate as he sped off.
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Oh God, I hope you're ok!
I think that carring a pepper spray or even some sort of a knife would be better than not having them with you.
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I wouldn't do the knife but I would the pepper spray or something.
You need to check your state laws to see if it is legal to carry sprays around.
You can always carry hair spray.
The knife is not a good idea because the guy can probably overpower you and use it against you...
Too risky a situation.
You did the right thing jumping out as soon as it slowed.
For a long time when I was younger, I always wrote down the cab number and name of cabbie as soon as I got in.
You can still report what happened to the police.
You know the time and place and cab companies have to keep track of their drivers.
With a description, like the scars on his hand, you probably can get him nailed.
You would be doing other women a service if you followed through.
I am quite sure you were not his first victim.
And I wouldn't waste time...
The longer you take the less credible your story sounds and your memory fades.
You might have to pick him out in a line up.
It actually is a good thing that you posted it here on JSF.
Even though you did not tell the authorities right away, the fact that you told someone...
In this case a whole virtual community...
Creates much more credibility in a "he said, she said" situation of sexual harassment.
The fact that Anita Hill had told colleagues and friends when Clarence Thomas was sexually harassing her in the workplace, though she did not ever voluntarily report it...
It only came out years later during Thomas' nomination to the Supreme Court, is what protected her reputation in the end.
I am so sorry you have gone through this...
It is unfortunately a fact of life for young women.
But I also strongly encourage you to contact the Special Victims Unit...
Or whatever it is called in your home state and town....
It's not just a TV show....
They will want to get this guy off the streets and rightfully so, no one should ever have to put up with rape or the threat of it....
(and he was threatening to rape you whether you are cognizant of it or not.)
My sympathies
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I'm sorry to hear this happened to you.
I would call that more than "harassment", though.
It's assault if he grabs for you...you have to be careful.
If I'm out at night, I always carry mace or pepper spray.
Even guys should have that stuff- just like you wouldn't bring a knife to a gun fight, you shouldn't bring nothing to a knife fight.
Getting mugged is incredibly scary, and although you shouldn't resist, you should have some way to defend yourself if the situation escalates.
-L
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Damn your instincts to hell.
Carry a lady Smith And Wesson.
That or a tazer but in a struggle, you have only a little better chance of zapping the perp as you would yourself.
And pepper spray is a VERY bad choice for any confined space.
You get just as much as the cabbie would if you gave him a few shots.
Besides, even if you are out in the open, you have to watch the winds as well.
You getting a face full of it isn't going to help you at all.
You'd be better off with a whistle.
Reguardless, I suggest a Kubaton.
Easy, fast, and simple.
Doesn't matter if the guy is 400 pounds and full of muslce.
You hit him in the neck, or the ribs, he'll go down in a hurry.
No stops, no questions asked.
For under 10 bucks shipped, you couldn’t ask for a better weapon for self defense.
Flat ones will work just fine, but, in a struggle you want to make any strike count.
And the pointed ones will do just that.
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Sorry you had to go through something like that
When I lived at the government housing in downtown, the guys around there would mess with me all the time, even had the balls to grab my crotch straight-up out of nowhere!
The last straw though was when my shirt was ripped off my back, but heck, I was happy to get out of there with my ass intact.
I went to the people in charge, but they didnt believe me, or didnt want to do anything about it, so we moved.
I carry a revolver these days, but small objects such as the one above would be adequate enough to inflict bodily harm on someone and save yourself a few seconds or minutes.
Even a your own finger would work.
Anything is better than nothing, though IMO.
I dont care about them possibly taking something away from me and using it against me, because you stand a far better chance of survival when armed with something at all, rather than nothing.
You could also get training in professional non-armed self defense tactics.
Oh and I've heard that you should shout 'fire' instead of help, or maybe help and fire to get more attention.
But yeah, make lots of noise too.
I should have made more noise when I was being wrestled to the ground but I was just so pissed at the dude that I kept cussing at him instead.
And I agree, that cabbie should be reported.
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I'm so sorry that happened to you.
That's awful! Great that you escaped!
I'm totally with Omaha on this one.
I don't know what the laws are in your city.
If they have concealed carry permits, and you often travel around the city alone, I would get a permit along with a .38.
The pepper spray will not work in a car.
I carry a knife on my keychain, so that it can be seen and works as a deterrent.
I used to carry one of those Kubaton-type keychains until I lost it in a move.
Merely pulling out a gun or knife could often be enough to stop an attack.
An attacker isn't usually looking to put himself in peril--he just wants an easy mark.
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Quote: : And pepper spray is a VERY bad choice for any confined space.
You get just as much as the cabbie would if you gave him a few shots.
Besides, even if you are out in the open, you have to watch the winds as well.
You getting a face full of it isn't going to help you at all.
You'd be better off with a whistle.
Exactly, I say ditch the pepperspray and try to get your hands on a taser.
Guaranteed he stays down for a couple of minutes after you zap him.
And if you're ever attacked/mugged/harrassed again, try to create a lot of attention, scream and yell your lunges out.
Attackers aren't that keen on lots of witnesses.
I heard once that when one is attacked it's better to yell 'fire' than the word 'murder' or 'I am being attacked'.
The reasoning behind it is that people tend to look out for themselves and don't easy put themselves in a dangerous situation as an attack would be.
But they do are curious enough to see a building go up in flames.
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That's some excellent advice guys...
But there seems to be some confusion, im sorry i didnt make it very clear.
I didnt get attacked yesterday, ...
Yesterday's ride was just plain scary and had this incident (which is an earlier incident) replaying in my head ...
I definitely thought i was going to end up in a ditch ...
And i was jumpier than usual.
It doesnt help that the incidence level for attacks, rapes and murders has gone up, especially incidents involving cab drivers.
i have been harassed numerous times and this wasnt the least of it ...
I was only 11 when it happened the first time, it can become a huge psychological impairment ...
For a long time i felt dirty and thought my body was an insult to me, as i grew into a woman.
I think as you grow out of your initial shock, you tend to retaliate in anger...
Mostly i will strike back but i realise that may not always be the best retaliation ....
It's actually a lot more common than one would think, women are usually too embarrassed to talk about it.
I was talking to a co-worker about it once and she told me her story, she was too embarassed to admit it had happened to her, conflicting with her image of a confident adult woman...
Sorry to hear about your crotch grab incident NatureGirl, ive been there too and it's not a pretty thing to remember...
It's sad there aren't better systems to discourage perpetrators and penalise.
I really like that Kubaton, i should get one.
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Maybe drive instead of taking a cab?
Dunno your situation, but that's what I'd do.
~SC~
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First, why did you put yourself in that situation?
If you already had thoughts that something could go wrong..
Why did you get in the cab?
Trust your intuition!
If something doesn't feel right..
It usually ends up to be bad.
ALWAYS BE PROACTIVE!!
Always carry a list of cab companies numbers in either your cell phone or on you.
Like said before, you can call the company with driver/car number and report, or schedule a cab to pick you up.
Anything and everything can be a weapon.
A pencil, pen, keys, all good weapons.
Either scratch or poke the assailant in vital areas (eyes, nose, throat, genitals, etc etc), and they'll release the grip long enough for you to escape.
As said before, "fire" would be better than "I'm being robbed" or even "help".
People do not interfere with "dangerous" situations that involve with other people, but if there is a situation in which people feel that they can help..
They are more willingly to help.
Most important thing is DO NOT protray yourself as a victim.
Even if you're a male.
Attackers will prey on those they feel that they can control.
Walk with your head up, not looking at the sidewalk.
If you're talking on a cell phone in a cab, mention to your friend/spouse/ whomever you're talking to "Hey joe, i'm taking the *cab number* to *street name* or something to that effect.
Make eye contact with your surroundings.
Once again, BE PROACTIVE
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First of all, I read a lot here but post very little.
I am a former police officer and wanted to add my two cents.
I once worked a case where a woman had been attacked outside of a club.
The suspect grabbed her, dragged here over into a dark, grassy corner and attempted to rape her.
The victim told me later that she kept telling him "My name is " she told me that she struggled to keep him from committing the rape and kept repeating her name.
She told me that she had read this tactic somewhere before.
It conveys to the perp.
That you are somebody and you have a name, that they are hurting somebody.
I don't remember where she learned this but it worked.
The perp. was never able to penetrate her and he ran away.
I know the previous posters were debating the best defensive weapon above but, I just thought I'd throw this out there.
I am all for concealed carry but that is my personal choice.
By the way, we did catch the guy about an hour later.
The best defense is to just be alert and be careful.
Always know what and who is aroud you.
If you choose to carry a weapon of any type, insure that you are doing so legally and know how to use it.
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Excellent point, George!
Thank you so much
I have read this many many times in articles from first person accounts of women who'd been attacked.
It seemed that not only did that particular angle work, but also staying relatively calm helped as well.
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I'd have to admit that I feel that is a bit of a 'roll of the dice' move.
I wouldn't depend on such a tactic to work, although it would be good to keep that in the back of your mind.
But as I am sure most of you know, not everyone has a conscience, least of all rapists and those who prey on the weak.
I can't stress it enough to defend yourself in a tried and true manner.
If you choose not to carry a weapon of some sort, at least move in numbers.
Go out with your friends, and go to the clubs or whatever in a small group.
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Quote: : Damn your instincts to hell.
Carry a lady Smith And Wesson.
That or a tazer but in a struggle, you have only a little better chance of zapping the perp as you would yourself.
And pepper spray is a VERY bad choice for any confined space.
You get just as much as the cabbie would if you gave him a few shots.
Besides, even if you are out in the open, you have to watch the winds as well.
You getting a face full of it isn't going to help you at all.
You'd be better off with a whistle.
Reguardless, I suggest a Kubaton.
Easy, fast, and simple.
Doesn't matter if the guy is 400 pounds and full of muslce.
You hit him in the neck, or the ribs, he'll go down in a hurry.
No stops, no questions asked.
For under 10 bucks shipped, you couldnt ask for a better weapon for self defense.
Flat ones will work just fine, but, in a struggle you want to make any strike count.
And the pointed ones will do just that.
A man who knows his stuff.
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If you go with the baton keep in mind that you need to learn how to use it.
It's less of a threat than a knife, and knives can be dealt with after the initial surprise.
You probably want to have a course where they cover things like maintaining control of your weapon, what targets to choose and how to strike them.
With any short range striking weapon, you have to make sure that counterattack to your elbow capsule is not a problem - one classic defense against a knife strike is to slip the strike, pull the knife hand along, and rapidly hyperextend that elbow.
So you want to make sure you don't expose your elbow in the attack.
A weapon is all well and good as long as it's YOUR weapon.
Frankly, I don't know much about fighting in a car.
But if a guy was reaching back from the driver's seat at me, I wonder whether I can control his arm just long enough to hyperextend his elbow with my leg.
If he's reaching with his dominant hand, it's pretty much case closed if we destroy his elbow whether I have a weapon or not.
Ultimately, leaving the scene was by far the best option;
But I can understand about it being a moving car making that a problem.
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They sell them at different lengths in order to disguise them.
I don't know about any of you but a woman's fist doesn't strike much fear in my mind, and hence a person wouldn't think to worry about it.
A smaller version of a kubaton with a point, can easily be disgusted as a simple fist.
Especially at night, when most attacks occur.
Quote: : you need to learn how to use it.
With ANY weapon of ANY type, it's useless if you don't know how to use it properly.
Proper training is the best advise regardless of what you decide to carry.
Great post.
Quote: : A man who knows his stuff.
Youre too kind. This is one of the few subjects I take to very well.
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Quote: : The best defense is to just be alert and be careful.
Always know what and who is aroud you.
Totally agree. I am always scanning the parking lot, cars etc.
And don't put myself in any questionable or compromising situation.
I always have the car doors locked while I am inside etc.
Lock my doors at home even while I am there.
The best thing is to try and avoid these situations.
If you are looking into some self defense, see if you can find someone locally that teaches Krav Maga.
It would be very effective in that situation.
Couple of other things .
Never, never, never let the person take you to a second location.
If they do your chances of survival are very slim.
Better to fight it out there where there are more people around.
I am not one for concealed weapons.
Maybe they make me nervous because I have small children etc.
However, the keychain idea is good.
You could use the one as a handle and wip your keys in some guys face and do some damage.
Also, your elbows are very good weapons.
Stories like this make me really, really angry.
There are so many creepy people out there.
You can better believe if something like that happened to me, I am not going down without some kind of fight.
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